We all start the day the same, the alarm rings, we hit the snooze for those precious last moments of extra sleep or cuddling with your loved one. After about the third or fourth hit of the snooze button, as we start to focus past the haze of blurry sleep, the thought hits, "I don't want to get up." We know this thought well, it's probably the mantra uttered by most in the world. And then it happens, we are overrun with a barrage of worry, as we reflect on all the challenges of our day, all the tasks that demand our attention, the tasks that often seem unsolvable or overwhelming, or just downright scary.
So what do most of us do? As we lay frozen we pull the sheets over our heads looking for escape. But the reality is, there is no escape, there are only two options, stay in bed or go out into the world. So, up we rise finding some unseen inertia to get us out from under the sheets and out into the world. But as tired as we are and as scary as those tasks seem, we get up anyway and start the day. But we are overlooking the most important part of the day, and the most monumental decision that we will ever make. We choose to get up. Today, and everyday we choose to live.
But this choice is very rarely acknowledged, and often overlooked. Everyday we take this choice for granted. We just dismiss it as something we have to do. But hard as it is to get up every day to face the world we still find a way.
We never really ask ourselves why am I getting up. I know what you might be thinking, "I have to get up, I have to start my day, I have to go to work." Well that's not necessarily the truth. The reality is we really don't have to do anything, and I mean anything. We don't have to get up in the morning, we don't have to go to work, we don't have to stay in a relationship and it goes on and on, except taxes, we have to pay those. But it is the choices that are not acknowledged that go unseen and exist as the hidden motivators of our lives.
Everyday we make a choice to live, to survive, somehow and someway. It's amazing with all the challenges people face in the world, everyone still makes that choice. But we don't honor that choice, it gets dismissed as a "have to" rather than a "want to".
I have found it to be the case that when I became aware of this choice, and really owned the responsibility of it, I was able to face the other challenges in my life with more courage and conviction. I also became aware of my own inner resourcefulness. In taking for granted my ability to find ways to survive, I was selling myself short. Instead of being a person who has chosen to live a life of happiness weathering small bouts of sadness, I instead was a person choosing to live a sad life entertaining small bouts of happiness.
Not too good right? Why was I choosing to live like this when everything else was saying the contrary? Essentially I never stopped to question this type of living, and instead I just slept through life. But today I live differently because I have chosen a different path - I WOKE UP!!
How can you also live more awakened? I offer the following 5 ways to start living in ownership:
1. Filter out your mind
I believe it to be the case that the most challenging moment of the day is the morning. Your mind kicks into overdrive when that alarm sounds. Why? Well because we have just spent eight hours (hopefully) in a fantasy state. As soon as you become aware of reality is when your mind starts to rattle off all the challenges of the day.
So instead of getting swept up in your mental checklists, after you have made the choice to get up, filter your thoughts through the lens of "I want to" . Don’t try to force your thoughts, just think and say to yourself, " I am getting up today because I WANT TO….." Now remember there are no perfect answers, perfection is an illusion. Instead just go with what feels right. One example may be, " I want to go to work because I enjoy talking to my coworkers." You might not be head over heels for your job but you do like recapping the weekend with co workers. Or stopping by your favorite patisserie, you know the one, the one with the great latte and chocolate croissant.
Essentially there are small unrecognized motivators that prompt us to get out of bed and into our life. Take time to just recognize them and own them as what you want.
2. Stop lying to yourself
Too often we let our thoughts dictate our day, we automatically believe the voice inside our mind, but that voice is a liar. Why? Because more often than not, the human mind is conditioned to focus on negative aspects. It is a tape that plays on and on, totally kicking into automatic without our knowing it. So when you wake up and own the choice to live, entertain that voice, the one that helped you put those feet on the floor. If you are sitting up then you found a way. Five minutes ago you were probably thinking you were never able to get up but you did. And that is the truth.
3. Breathe, like a baby
For a moment I’d like you to stop reading and simply pay attention to your breath.
I’ll wait…
Remember that alarm that goes off in the morning, well it usually sparks a sense of dread and panic, followed by a learned behavior of shallow breathing. In my work with clients in facing issues surrounding anxiety and panic, the single incorrect habit everyone shared is shallow breathing. That breathing that takes place in your chest rather than your belly. Babies are the best at breathing because they breath from their stomachs rather than chest. We all start off this way but then forget as we grow.
So when that alarms sounds in the morning, lay on your back, place your hand on your belly, and take in a nice big breath through your nose. Fill your belly with as much oxygen as you can and then release through your mouth using your hand as a guide to gently push the air out. Do this for a count of five.
This practice will hopefully get you in the habit of breathing correctly and calming you in high stress situations. When you focus your attention on your breath, you come back into reality, Practice baby breathing to bring your mind back to the present.
4. The future is not here so why are you thinking about it??
This topic is pretty self-evident. It's all about being present in the moment, and being aware of what's around, specifically your environment and the choices you make in that environment.
On average, people tend to always think about the future and the problems of what's coming. I find this to be wasted energy, because if a situation is not here yet why waste all your energy thinking about it. Your energy is better served in the "Now" moment and owning the resourcefulness and resiliency that you're building in facing the challenges of your everyday life.
Do you have tips or insights into how to improve mindfulness and awareness of the present, if you I would love to hear them. \
Please leave your thoughts below.
Thanks for reading!
Ed