Everywhere you look, another spiritually minded person is teaching about the impact their daily mindfulness practice is having on their personal work/life. But have you ever tried it? I am betting you have and did not succeed, right? Well don’t fret, because you are not alone. I find that a majority of the clients I work with have tried to be mindful but did not succeed out of fear they’re ‘not doing it right’ and are ‘too restless’ to dedicate time to developing a daily mindful practice.
I too have struggled with being a more mindful person. For many years I tried to learn to be mindful, and honestly failed more times than I like to mention. I was so committed to the goal of a dedicated mindfulness practice that I read almost every book there was, and attended workshops and classes. I even tried copious amounts of meditation music, water sound machines and way too expensive aroma candles. But you know what? In working to buy and collect all these fancy items to be mindful and meditative, I wasn’t actually being mindful or serene. The one thing I was trying to develop was not there. I didn’t have an actual practice but instead just a collection of stuff.
These days everyone makes such a big deal of mindfulness and meditation. There seems to be an over complication of something that I have learned is essentially a very simple concept. Want to know what that is? What I have learned to be mindful, and develop a mindful practice all you have to do is….
Pay attention to the good stuff around you. The stuff that you take for granted everyday.
A moment of silence as you let that sink in….
Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Done? Are you ready??
If you have a quizzical look to your face, don’t panic it won’t last long, unless someone slaps you on your back and then your face will be stuck like that forever, just kidding. Remember that from childhood?? No, ok then, back to the post….
Paying attention to the good stuff around you is one of those concepts that at first sounds too easy, until you try it, then you see it's actually hard to do. Why? Because we have not trained ourselves to focus on the good around us, just the negative. On a daily basis our lives are filled with numerous opportunities to bring attention to good things around us, but we don’t. All it takes is making a conscious effort to pay attention. And, the key word there is CONSCIOUS. Life is all around us, good things, motivational things, beautiful things. We just have to STOP, and I mean STOP, like freeze and look around and pay attention. Yes you may look like a tourist but try it. That’s all we should do, just STOP and look up, because if we don’t then those beautiful things that are around us may not be.
I learned this lesson the hard way. I encountered an event that forever changed the way I look at things, and made me STOP and appreciate the beauty around me a little more. Once upon a time ago, I used to pass these two beautiful structures on my way to work. Two majestic spires that decorated the Manhattan skyline, and illuminated the landscape. Each day I would bustle about my morning, rushing to get to work to start my day. I was always preoccupied with what I was going to do in my work day, stressing and worrying about the the unfinished tasks that awaited me from the day before.
Then one day the unthinkable happened. The two majestic and powerful towers fell. The world bore witness to the collapse of landmarks that stood in our city for decades, and mourned the loss of many shining lives. For a long time after that we all looked to the horizon, seeing only smoke and rubble. The towers were gone, and a piece of beauty that stood proudly was no longer there. After that day I vowed never to take for granted the good around me, the people in my life, and if they ever rebuilt those structures that I would make a conscious effort to STOP and remember. To look up and appreciate what I have, what we all have.
Many years later they did in fact rebuild and in their place we now have a new gleaming tower, that stands ever vigilant in the horizon. A new reminder of both the strength and vulnerability of the human spirit. Today, I STOP and always make a point to look up, not only to that new tower, but the people around me, the sights around me, the parks, the walkways, the sounds and all the beautiful diversity that surrounds me daily.
Want to do the same? Consider these seven strategies as a cheat sheet to begin developing a daily practice. Once you have started, you will find that being mindful, is a lot easier than you think. And by making a conscious effort to recognize the good things you will feel more optimistic and empowered in your life.
1. Mindful Morning Waking
I have written about this before, INSERT LINK TO BLOG POST, but setting an intention in the very first moments of awakening is a gentle and motivational way to set the tone for the rest of the day. First, pay attention to your mind and your body. Do you feel alert or tired? Are your muscles tight? Slowly stretch your limbs and your back, noticing the sensation of each movement. Try to notice what thought crosses your mind the second you open your eyes - or even just before. Try not to think as if you have to get out of that bed but instead STOP and say, “ I want to get up so that….” declare what you want so that you set the focus to move forward and move toward what you want.
2. Mindful Eating
No matter what your day brings, there are going to be meals—or at least snacks! Reminding yourself to come back into the moment each time you eat is a great way to insert mindfulness into your day—and it will help you to be more conscious of what food you’re putting in your body too.
So during your meal, instead of just rushing and gulping your food, STOP and Pay attention to: Taste, texture, smell—there’s so much to notice in every mouthful of food. If you’re really concentrating, even a tiny raisin can make you happy! Take small bites and chew slowly, savoring as you go—and wait until you’ve swallowed to pick up your fork for the next bite.
3. Mindful Cleaning
Yes you heard me correctly, MINDFUL CLEANING!! Whether it’s doing the dishes, sweeping the floor or folding the laundry, chores present an ideal opportunity to bring mindfulness into day-to-day life.
Pay attention to: Whatever your hands are doing. If you’re washing dishes, notice the temperature of the water, the texture of the plates, the motion of scrubbing. If you’re folding laundry, feel the different fabrics. While sweeping, notice the movement of your arms, the stretch and extension, and perhaps even an aching as time goes by. Trust me on this, you will never look at cleaning your toilet the same way again.
4. Mindful Walking
Just like eating, every day is comprised of some walking—whether it’s a long walk to work or school, or a short one to the kitchen. Every step brings with it a chance to be mindful.
This step is especially helpful, as it brings awareness to your body and related feelings. As you take you next sojourn, pay attention to: Your feet and legs. Notice how each foot feels as it touches the ground, rolls, and then pushes off again. Feel the bend of each leg as it moves forward, the stretch of the calf and thigh muscles. As your attention gets sharper, you can also notice the rotation of your hip joints, the swing of your arms, the straightness of your spine and the wind on your face.
5. Mindful Showering
As is the case with sleeping and eating, so we too must cleanse ourselves. So, while it is said that our best ideas come to us in the shower, washing can also be a time to step away from the non-stop flow of thoughts that fill most of our day. And it is also a great opportunity to practice singing, we all sound awesome in the shower, the acoustics just can’t be beat.
Instead of just splashing and quickly spritzing water everywhere, pay attention to: The feel of the water. Notice the temperature of the water, focus on how each drop feels as it makes contact with your skin, the sound it makes as it hits the shower curtain, screen or tiles. I find when I do this, especially in the morning, it really impacts my day. I wake up and feel more energetic and happy.
6. Mindful Waiting
Now this one may be a challenge, because let’s face it who likes to wait right? But bringing mindfulness into your waiting time can turn that sigh when you first spot the long line at the DMV into a genuine smile, (yes you can smile at the DMV). It’s also an opportunity to notice your mind and monitor your emotions in your body as well, as emotional reactions tend to rise intensely and quickly when we’re forced to wait.
So when you are waiting just STOP. (Do you sense the pattern yet?) Look up and pay attention to: The whole experience. Notice how you feel when you realize you’ll have to wait - does your heart beat faster? Do you feel annoyed? Angry?
While you wait, does your breathing change? Once you’re sitting or standing in the line or at the bus stop, pull your attention away from the mental and emotional part of your experience, and be mindful of your body. Feel your feet on the ground, your inhalations and exhalations. Notice each and every tiny movement.
7. Mindful Listening
You know that cathartic feeling of a deep, personal conversation with a friend, you know the kind that doesn’t end in a post or like. The deep sharing of personal topics, exchanged face to face, when you really felt like you got something significant off your chest. Chances are, your friend was practicing mindful listening. Truly being with the people around us is one of the best ways to connect and deepen our relationships, both at home and at work. This practice is so needed, especially as many forms of social media vie for our attention.
When you find yourself with a friend, pay attention to: Everything about the person who’s speaking to you—not just their words but their presence. Take stock of their body language, giving them your full, attention. Resist the urge to start thinking about what to say next—just listen.
As the title states, many of these steps may be a little unconventional, and somewhat simplistic but take it from me, try them, they are a lot harder to do then you may think.
Well, I hope you have all found this post helpful, but, I want to hear from you too.
Do you agree with the steps I have listed? Have you struggled with developing a meditative/mindful practice? Maybe you already have a practice. If you do, then I would love to hear about it.
As always, leave a comment in the form below. I would love to hear your thoughts and insights.
Warmly,
Ed