Stuff.
Do I need it or do I want it?
This is what I think about every-time I log into Amazon and check the items on my wish list. I have a lot of items I want to buy. They run the gamut from things I generally need, things I could use and stuff that serves no purpose but looks just plain cool (I am looking at you Darth Vader cappuccino maker). But, as fun and interesting as all these items are, it is all just stuff. We all have extraneous items in some form or another. Most of us can attest to having that closet overflowing with clothes we hope to fit into, or various styles we hope will come back into fashion. Or better yet, many of us have that space under the bed that houses boxes of unseen trinkets, photos, and shoes that take up space. Why do we hold onto these items? The reasons vary, but for many of us, these items are kept in an effort to hold onto memories that we don’t want to forget, or new memories that allow us to feel good about ourselves. But unbeknownst to us, this unseen thing happens, the stuff starts growing. It’s as if this uncanny multiplying occurs and before we know it, we are awash in material things that slowly erode our physical space, forcing us to fight for room in our domiciles.
We all like to buy stuff. I know there is nothing that brings me more excitement than seeing that Amazon box arrive at my house; it’s like Christmas but without the egg nogg. Unfortunately, the feeling is short lived. After we have played or displayed our new ‘toys’, the buzz quickly vanishes and these items that once created joy instead now only serve as a burden left to gather dust and take up space.
Honestly, I struggle with clearing out stuff, I both love it and hate it. On one side I love all my books, guy toys and man tech but on the other side I love the feeling of getting a big trash bag and clearing out space in my office, on my desk or in my home. It is very cathartic. I enjoy seeing and working in a clean, sparse environment that encourages uncluttered opportunities for work and being creative.
But as much as I love buying and collecting stuff, it’s usually a sign that there is something deeper going on. Behaviors are sneaky like that. The act of buying items tends to dress itself up as something that’s good and harmless but often times it is just behaviors masking an underlying issue, and to quote Hamlet, “therein lies the rub.” In this case the rub, or the problem/obstacle is “want” versus “need”.
Now if you generally want to buy things, then by all means may the Amazon gods serve you well. However, if you feel as though you “need” items with this feverish desire like Gollum coveting his precious one ring then you need to pause before you hit ‘add to cart’. You see individuals, brilliant as we are, often fall into the pit of the human habit; seeking external forces or items to self-sooth, opposed to utilizing our own internal resourcefulness. From my time working in the addictions field, I have learned that the stuff we think we “need” serves merely as “Coping Mechanisms” to help manage painful emotions associated with unfortunate experiences of the past or overwhelming life challenges of the present.
If left unchecked, this supposed need can lead to a pattern of unhealthy behaviors and unproductive self talk that results in excuses to spend excessively or neglect our very health and well-being. The habit becomes an illusionary familiarity that keeps us thinking that what we’re doing and how we are living is just fine, whether it is or not.
So why the stuff?
What it comes down to is this - clutter is clutter and the more you let go of the things that no longer serve you, the more you’ll make way for the things that do. To let go of stuff, and break from the past, we enable new experiences to enter our life, and breed positive forward living. It is understandable that the stuff we collect may not all be negative or bad, but we shouldn’t feel that these objects serve as the pinnacle of our emotional living.
It won’t always be easy, and you may take two steps forward and one step back, but the goal is movement, not stagnation! We have to keep moving forward looking for an optimistic future, positive experiences and productive living. As you take these first steps, you can slowly release the emotional hold that things have on you.
So today I say join me in letting go of the “Stuff”. Let us together take a chance to be brave and own our strengths. Let’s stand united in letting go of the items that no longer serve us. Because the stuff we buy may take up our space but it will never take our freedom!! Um, sorry, speech got away from me, that’s from Braveheart, (good movie though, you can catch it on Amazon Prime). Well, it doesn’t always have to be about stuff, they have good movies too.
But don’t worry, if you find it hard, the stuff will always be in your cart, and you can always grab hold of them again if you want to, but honestly I‘m betting you probably won’t want to.
So that wraps up another post for this week, and as usual I am interested in what you guys think.
Are you emotionally tied into stuff that you can’t part with? Do you have stuff that doesn’t serve you anymore? What’s holding you back from simplifying your things?
Drop a comment below, and let me know your thoughts, feelings and insights. Keep it short, keep it simple, keep it clean and most of all keep it nice.
Until then this is Ed and I will catch you on the next one.